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How to Prepare Yourself for Visiting Someone in Hospital

Last Updated: February 16, 2022 References

This article was medically reviewed by Jonas DeMuro, MD . Dr. DeMuro is a board certified Pediatric Critical Care Surgeon in New York. He received his MD from Stony Brook University School of Medicine in 1996. He completed his fellowship in Surgical Critical Care at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System and was a previous American College of Surgeons (ACS) Fellow. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 36,215 times.

If you're planning on visiting someone in the hospital, you may be feeling anxious, confused, or helpless about that individual's condition. You may even be fearful of seeing that person in a state of illness or incapacity. All of these feelings are normal and can be managed with proper planning. Learning how to manage your emotions and figure out the logistics of a hospital visit can help you be as prepared as possible for this potentially upsetting situation.

Figuring Out the Logistics

• Call ahead with the name of the patient you wish to visit to confirm the location of the patient and the visiting hours for that ward.

• Some patients may not be physically or mentally capable of having visitors. This could be for a variety of reasons, and it's important to be respectful of those reasons.
• The person may be on isolation precautions, meaning you will have to take special steps before entering the room. Speak to a nurse to find out if you need to wear a mask, protective gown, gloves, or other protective equipment. The nurse will be able to provide you with these items and instruct you on proper use. It's important you follow directions exactly, to protect both the patient and yourself.
• Call the hospital and ask to speak with a nurse working on your patient's floor. Ask the nurse whether it would be okay to visit, and provide a rough time frame you'd like to visit.

• Check in with the patient or her family to see if she wants visitors while staying in the hospital.
• If the patient does not want visitors, be respectful of her wishes. You can always send a card or get-well package through the mail or ask the patient's family to deliver it for you.

• If you're ill, you are better off staying out of the hospital for both yourself and the patient. Consider a phone call or video chat instead.
• Even if you're healthy, you should wash your hands before and after visiting the hospital, in particular when you enter and exit the patient’s room. You could accidentally introduce bacteria or viruses to patients inside the hospital, or you could inadvertently carry a serious pathogen home with you when you leave the hospital.
• When you wash your hands, use soap and clean, running water for a total of 20 seconds. [4] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source You may also wish to use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer instead of washing your hands.

Feeling Emotionally Prepared

• Start out by only reading credible medical articles. You can find a wealth of information on websites run by hospitals, medical schools, and medical care centers, such as the Mayo Clinic or Medline Plus .
• You can also find endless information in print form. Check your local library for medical textbooks and journals, then research the condition or illness for which your friend or relative is being treated.
• Once you've read some credible medical information, it may be comforting to read some personal accounts that talk about that condition/illness. Look for memoirs or even personal online blogs that discuss that condition or illness. Online forums specific to the illness often have good discussions and information.

• Remember that everyone deals with crisis situations differently. You may be able to maintain your composure and handle the situation, or you may grow anxious, frightened, or even angry.
• These feelings may change as the patient's health improves, declines, or alternates between improvement and decline.

• You can speak with family and friends about any concerns you have, especially if those friends or relatives are also close with the patient you're going to visit.
• If you have deeper-seated emotional concerns, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist or a clergy member (if you are religious).

• You can write anything you want in your journal. You don't have to show it to anyone, and you can even destroy the page when you're finished.
• Try to be consistent in your journaling. Since your feelings may change as the days or weeks go on, it can be helpful to make a daily habit of reflecting and writing.
• You can buy any type of journal you want, from a simple spiral-bound notebook to an elegant leather-bound book of blank pages; however, you may want to consider portability and ease of access when you're deciding on a notebook.
• It may be easier for you to journal on your phone or tablet. There are many apps that allow you to keep a journal on your devices.

• Exercise regularly. This can help you burn off some energy or stress and stay healthy. Even walking around the hospital can help.
• Make sure you're eating a healthy diet. While vending machines are convenient, they mostly contain junk food and you'll need proper nutrition, including a balanced diet with fresh fruits and vegetables.
• Get adequate rest. Remember that most adults need at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night, while some adults may need even more sleep. [7] X Research source
• Do things to help you relax and deal with your stress. Even if you can't leave the hospital, bring books, magazines, crafts, and other things to keep yourself busy and take your mind off of things.

Making a Successful Visit

• Try to base your gift on the individual's tastes.
• Choose a gift that will cheer up the individual. For example, if you know the person is an avid hiker and camper who is eager to get back on the trail, you may want to bring something that will make her think of hiking or camping.
• Consider bringing something that will help the person pass the time, such as a book of crossword puzzles, magazines, a book, or some other activity.
• If you know an image or object might upset the patient, you should avoid bringing anything that might be a reminder of that image or object. For example, if the individual will never be able to walk or ride a bike again, bringing reminders of these activities could be upsetting.

• Anticipate that the patient may be feeling a range of emotions. She may be feeling hopeful, fearful, angry, or she may even be in denial.
• Never tell the individual how she should feel. Simply accept the way she's feeling without criticism or interrogation.
• Ask the individual if she wants to talk about what she is going through. Don't unload your grief or fear on the patient, as she has enough to deal with on her own.
• Let the patient know that you're available to talk anytime. Even if she doesn't want to discuss what she's going through now, that may change with time. Make sure she has your contact information so she can reach you in case she wants to talk later.
• If the patient has a chronic illness/condition or will be going through a prolonged recovery period, be sure that you continue to offer support over the long-term. Many people will be there at first, but your friend or relative will need support down the line.

• Talk to other friends or family members of the patient to coordinate schedules. Let each other know when you're available and what shifts would work best.
• Once you've worked out a schedule, let the patient know who will be staying in the hospital and when. Having a schedule in mind may help give the patient some sense of normalcy.

• Going for a walk, getting yourself some food or coffee, or simply stepping outside to talk on the phone can help give you a mental break from the stress of being in the hospital.
• Let the individual know that you'll be back, and try to provide a rough time estimate. This can help put an anxious hospital patient a bit more at ease.

• Don't point out that the patient looks ill, injured, or otherwise unwell. Likewise, avoid talking about the procedure/surgery unless the patient wants to talk about it.
• Focus on the patient's treatment and recovery. Try to remain positive so that the patient can keep a healthy, positive attitude.
• If the patient is feeling sad or hopeless, try to lift her spirits. Talk about fun or humorous memories and try to get her to think about the fun times you'll have in the future once she is feeling better.

Expert Q&A

• Be aware of what you say to the patient. Never say something like, "Gosh, you gave us all a fright!" This can create feelings of guilt in the patient at a time when they should be focusing on recovery. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Try to see the positive things about a hospital stay. Many patients are having babies, getting long awaited life-changing surgery or having treatments that will make them better in the long term. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/visitors-in-hospital#lp-h-3
• ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/visitors-in-hospital#lp-h-1
• ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/visitors-in-hospital#lp-h-2
• ↑ http://www.cdc.gov/features/handwashing/
• ↑ http://med.stanford.edu/cfcenter/services/SupportingLovedOnes.html
• ↑ http://www.healthtalk.org/peoples-experiences/intensive-care/intensive-care-experiences-family-friends/emotional-impact-relatives-friends-icu
• ↑ https://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need
• ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/visitors-in-hospital

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Dos and don’ts of visiting someone in the hospital

Author: Sean Ankrom, MD

• Health and Wellness

When a friend, family member or loved one is in the hospital, your first instinct is to visit them and show your respects, whether it be due to an illness, injury or accident. Stepping into the hospital environment can be intimidating and scary. Here are some things you should remember when visiting a hospital patient.

What are the most common things that hospital visitors do that they shouldn't?

It's very important to not overstay your welcome when visiting a hospitalized patient. Patients need rest during their stay, and hosting visitors for an extended period can be draining--both physically and emotionally. The length of the visit should be proportional to how well you know the patient, but I’d recommend limiting the visit to one hour or less. If a physician enters during your visit, it's polite to step outside of the room until the conversation is over.

When is the best time to visit someone in the hospital?

The best time to visit a hospitalized patient is in the early evening. The hospital is typically humming with activity throughout the day, when patients are often scheduled for tests, procedures and staff are frequently entering and exiting the room. Toward late afternoon, the hospital tends to slow down a bit. By visiting later in the day, you'll have a better chance of having an uninterrupted visit. Weekends are another great opportunity to visit, as the hospital is usually quieter.

What are a few important things visitors should do before/after visiting the hospital?

Before traveling to the hospital, call to check the visitation policy. Certain units have strict visiting hours and some have policies that restrict the number of visitors. It’s common for young children to be restricted from visiting. If you have any signs of illness, such as fever, runny nose, nasal congestion or cough, it’s recommended that you postpone your visit until you’re well. After arriving at the hospital, check in with the nurse before entering the room to see if any personal protective equipment is required to prevent communicable disease. Washing your hands or using hand sanitizer when you enter or exit a hospital room is one of the most important things you can do to prevent the spread of germs.

Is it OK to bring gifts?

Bringing gifts is a fantastic idea, but isn’t necessary. The presence of a familiar face is often the best present a patient can receive in the hospital. If you do choose to bring a gift, bear in mind that hospital rooms are often small and storage space is limited. A large bouquet of flowers or balloons may seem like a nice gesture, but it may end up making the room feel crowded. Before visiting, I recommend checking in with the patient or a family member to see if they have any gift requests. Maybe there’s a book they’ve been wanting to read, a new issue of a favorite magazine or newspaper, or a small item that reminds them of home that you can bring in. Coloring books, puzzle books and card games also make nice gifts. If you’re thinking about bringing in outside food, check with the nurse or physician first. Patients are often on specialized medical diets and may have certain dietary restrictions. Sean Ankrom is a hospitalist at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

• View our comprehensive guide to make your visit as a patient or visitor as effortless as possible. Learn more

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Hospital visitation rights: family members and partners

By HealthSherpa

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When you’re hospitalized, a few important questions come up. What are my hospital visitation rights? Who is allowed to visit me in the hospital? Who can make medical decisions for me when I’m unable to? Over the years, laws have changed and been updated so we want to highlight what you can expect during a hospitalization.

What are my hospital visitation rights?

Since 2011, federal regulations requires any hospital accepting Medicare and Medicaid to allow patients to say who they want as visitors. And this includes the majority of hospitals. The patient’s wishes must be respected regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or relationship. General hospital rules regarding visiting hours will be enforced. However, the enforcement will not discriminate according to relationship.

In addition, if you’re a hospital patient, you may choose someone to act as your advocate. This person can ask questions, speak to doctors on your behalf, and generally become part of your care team.

When do hospital visitation rights get blurry?

Confusion can still come up if you are hospitalized and unable to communicate. And you do not have any signed documents on file with your physician or primary care provider. This can be especially problematic if you don’t have a trusted family member who will show up and make medical decisions on your behalf. Without you being able to make this decision, state rules vary about who can make medical decisions for you. This role may be limited to people related to you by legal marriage or blood, depending on your state’s policies.

Furthermore, under the HIPAA Privacy Rule , if you are unable to give consent, providers can use their judgment regarding who they share your information with. And they do not have to share it with any specific person.

As a patient, what legal documents do I need to protect my rights?

You will need to draw up a Medical Power of Attorney or Health Care Proxy. This allows you to designate an advocate (or two) to make medical decisions on your behalf when you’re unable to. You can also revoke this document at any time, and it only applies in instances where you are incapacitated. It’s also helpful to create an Advance Directive. This includes your personal health care wishes that you want that person to base their decisions on. Rules for these documents differ between states, and you can look up your state’s forms here .

The rules surrounding medical care are complex and shifting but many of today’s laws work on behalf of supporting the patient’s wishes. Our Consumer Advocates are always available to help you understand your rights regarding healthcare coverage as well as general health policies.

[…] Bring an advocate with you to the hospital. Ask that person to have an ongoing conversation with your insurance plan and hospital personnel when you’re unable to do so yourself. […]

[…] need to be made quickly. So if your friend brings you to the emergency room, the medical staff can share information with that person about your immediate medical condition. They will not; however, allow your friend […]

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My significant other’s wishes were adhered to in the hospice as long as she was alert and conscious. When she became un-alert and semi-conscious her family banned me from visiting her. She died in the hospice a week later and I was told I would be arrested if I attended her funeral. The family was angry that she started dating (me) after her husband died and did not want to provide child care for her family’s grandchildren, as she and her husband had done for several years. This occurred in a large Catholic hospital with chaplains and social workers on hospice staff. Before she entered the hospice I and visiting nurses cared for her at home. Beware of vindictive and malicious family members. Hospital staffs do whatever they request, you are just a nuisance as the long time friend.

My son-in-law, who is still vindictive and malicious had hospitals ban me from visiting my daughter even when she could talk and communicate herself. He threatened her that he would stop seeing and caring for her if she said I could visit. The hospital carried out all of his wishes. If it had not been for my insistence on visiting anyway, she would have died alone.

I am having similar issues. My sister suffered an Aneurysm and her memory has been foggy since, going to be a long recovery and her husband is being a complete a**. He is, “the husband”, far from the sharpest tool in the shed. He’s always been a little to insecure and involved in all aspects of her life, she can’t even have a conversation on the phone without him inserting himself. He’s not liked by most that meet him, one neighbor told me, “he thinks he’s the king of the block.” Even his own family has had issues, son went as far as changing last name to disassociate himself from him but here we are with him making all her decisions. I truly think my sister has stayed because she feels sorry for him, she definitely can and did do better in the past. But this fool is also trying to control everything and me and my mom are jumping through hoops to prevent from getting banned. I pray my sister recovers 100% because all his actions might be the straw that broke her back. 🤞🏽 He’s gone as far as preventing us from maintaining my sister’s bills because he can handle it, then turns around and creates a go fund me page 😡 using my sisters name and image. Praying that he doesn’t ever gain the power to have us banned, I worry about her care under his authority.

Thanks for another fantastic post. Where else may anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal way of writing?

I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I am on the look for such info.

Dose anyone no a lawyer cuz lawyer I call at malpractice n need something bad to happen. Frist like an injery they not letting me or my mom visit do to his condition now he told them they can talk to me n my mom about what’s rong he’s is a drug addict but he’s there for amonna we were seeing him for 4 days now no one aloud to come they thretin to have me arested for trust passing but u still can walk into his room so I do so there not keeping him safe the drug dealer still going to walk in it’s just my mom wwho respect there rules when I go up they not giving him his meds for he’s sugger a few times already we came n he has not eat because they didn’t bring it or never gave him his inclin so he won’t eat I need help finding a lawyer in new York City for visit in hospital not family Court

my fried has a son , who is in the hospital (NJ) he is 28 has no children of his own and NO spouse… he isher only child .. no they wont let his mother come visit because she not his spouse … discrimination?????

That’s crazy.

My wife is in the hospital and its gonna be a few days before she gets out .she has pancreatitis and is in need of plasma .as her husband they say I cant be with her..she is terrified to be alone throught this due to the covid there is a no visitor rule…is this legal?

Sorry to hear about your wife! There are extenuating circumstances right now, so many hospitals have temporarily removed visitation rights. It is legal.

why couldnt they wheel th patient down to th lobby in a wheel chair? my wife had a touchup surgery from a bk amputation, shes fine, sitting up arguing w th nurses lol, nothing stopping her from moving around, theyr waiting for test results of infections. told us maybe 1 overnight, turns out definitely, thn 2, now 3 more. no answers being answered directly, neither surgeon or infection specialists know wtf to do. shes scared sh*tless n panicking. theyr worried her bp is going up higher n higher- they clueless n thinking of more meds… i mentioned bring her to me in th lobby for 5minutes n see th instant changes… we are a cpl days away from green phase, they wont budge! im ready to drive my truck through th building!

That sounds really tough! It sounds like these restrictions will be cleared soon in your state.

No, it is not legal. Those are policies. There are laws that protect patients and loved ones from those cruel, unfair policies.

you need to sue them for that. NO Doctor has a right to bar you from your wife, NO DOCTOR AT ALL! If that were my wife i’d be dragging them to federal court. It doesn’t matter WHAT your wife is giong through, You have EVERY RIGHT To see her in the medical system. REGARDLESS!

Wondering if the hospital is allowed to deny my mother being with me in the hospital during the delivery of my first child since she is blood. This shouldn’t be a concern however lately it has been! And what can I do to ensure my patient rights are respected?

A lot of hospitals are not allowing visitors because of the risks of COVID-19. You’ll have to talk to the hospital about this.

Trust and believe me I will and if they don’t my family will be forcing our way in you can not refuse me service or I’ll sue their whole organization for slander and for grievance pay

In general covid put aside can a spouse decide who can visit the other spouse at the hospital?

It’s up to the patient to determine who can visit them at the hospital. But a patient may choose someone to act as their advocate. This person can ask questions, speak to doctors on your behalf, and generally become part of your care team.

So my husbands father was murdered when he was 14 the only parent he has left is his mother she only has a week to live drive from Canada to California and the tell him they already made the exception for his half sister so he can’t go in and say his good bye know tell me if this is some bull…. I his wife am a nurse I understand the COVID stuff but this is immediate family same blood and you can’t let one and not the other unless you want siblings fighting when they should be their for each other tell me if this isn’t WRONG

The hospital rules right now are really tough for a lot of people. Many hospitals are only allowing one visitor total. I’m sorry for your situation, and I recommend you speak to the hospital about this.

My partner of 25 years suffered a stroke. He at his best REVOKED his mother of all powers of ATTORNEY had it notarized and sent by mail to the hospital banks and one to her. This was well documented to every party involed. I as his partner began making all the best medical decisions for him. The doctors were gonna let him die but I signed the papers and he had surgery is still alive today. His mother is a genuine NARCISSISTIC behavior. My partner would have lucid phases. At times wasn’t sure reality from floating tables. Anyhow his mother closed his bank accounts took possession of the home we shared. Convinced one nurse she was his agent showing a 5 year old power of attorney. And will not tell no family or friends where she put him. She will not discuss it. I fear for him. She was revoked. What can I do. It’s been 6 months and I’ve tried everything to find him. She’s the only one. And she’s 92. Help!!! I love him

My boyfriend of 8 years was admitted into hospital 23 days ago, and has some confusion and disorientation at times. I would visit him at lunch and dinner to bring him food and feed him if he was hungry and give him some company. They can’t find his glasses and can’t watch TV because his bed obstructs his view, who wouldn’t be disorientated. Yesterday the Dr came in and told me that I wasn’t allowed to visit him or receive updates anymore because I am not married to him and his brother is the next of kin and removed me from the visiting list. I was verbally attacked in the hospital parking lot by his brother confronted with lies about me. How I was responsible for his condition and then verbally and physically attacked by his mother with a cane, one hit to my side. My partner knows I am there and definately would want me to visit. What are my rights? Is he able to say that he wants me to visit? And if he does can I?

If your partner can communicate, he can let them now he wants you to visit. Since 2011, federal regulations requires any hospital accepting Medicare and Medicaid to allow patients to say who they want as visitors. And this includes the majority of hospitals. Confusion can still come up if you are hospitalized and unable to communicate. And you do not have any signed documents on file with your physician or primary care provider. This can be especially problematic if you don’t have a trusted family member who will show up and make medical decisions on your behalf. Without you being able to make this decision, state rules vary about who can make medical decisions for you. This role may be limited to people related to you by legal marriage or blood, depending on your state’s policies.

So if my partner brings me to the ER do I have the right to share only certain medical issues with her from the Doctors?

Yes, you are under no legal obligation to share your medical issues with her and your doctors are not obligated to share any medical information about you with her either.

Hello can anyone tell me if it is illegal to not allow the family of a possibly dying persons (24 hours to live) not be able to visit? Said it was my wishes and that I told my co- Ordinator I didn’t want to see anyone. Lie !!!!! thank Goodness everything turned out well, I am so mad and wondering if a violation of the law was committed. Transplant went very well but I spent most of the time by myself 🙂 made as hell. TT

So a month ago my dad passed away in the hospital from covid/pneumonia. During his whole stay no one at all was allowed to see him, even when he was in ICU contained in a room with glass. The day that he died my family was allowed to see him through the glass after he had passed. This makes no sense to me at all. Should I take legal action???

Due to COVID-19, there are legal rules like this in place to reduce spread within hospitals to those who are sick or immunocompromised. Sorry for your loss.

It is happening to us right now. At a Pittsburgh VA hospital.

My son in law is dying with ards. HVH wont allow family to come and go one at a time to visit. he could die tonight. Charge Nurses should kind and gentle. I know I was a nurse for m40 years.

I’m very sorry to hear that.

My 89 year old Father was recently taken to the ER by ambulance. We instructed them not to admit him until we got there and discussed it. They were supposed to meet up with another ambulance to do an EKG and discuss the results with us. My Mother has MPA over my Father. He suffers extreme PTSD, Anxiety, and Clastrophobia. He also has coherency issues. To further complicate things he is unable to sleep in a bed for the past 12 years and has been confined to a medical recliner and power chair.

When we arrived at the hospital we told them that Mom had an MPA and that he had PTSD, Anxiety, etc….. They said doe to Covid she couldn’t go back. We mentioned again that we needed to speak with charge nurse so that we could relay everything. After waiting 45 minutes a Dr. called to ask questions and probably new less than a 1st year nurse. The questions were ridiculous. We again relayed the PTSD etc. and specifically the MPA. We also told him he was overdue to for his anxiety meds. To no avail in speaking with someone. In the interim we find out later they were forcing him down on a bed holding him down and somewhere along the lines infected him with something to calm him down apparently. He was highly agitated and finally 10 hours later after he had been transferred to an “Observation Room” a floor nurse called to say he was super riled up and if Mom could come down. This is our first conversation with someone at the hospital since the Doctor. 9 hours prior. He at this point is over 13 hours past his needed anxiety and pain meds for his back. Once we got there he looked like he had been beat up. We convince them to let him go after a the blood work finally came back and a Dr. Cleared him. By 12:30 am he was released. Set him back multiple years on control of the PTSD barely sleeps and is agitated most of the time. Also, he never agreed to be admitted and asked several times

My question is relatively simple. At what point does the hospital have to acknowledge the MPA and ask the family for supporting information that could help in the treatment and explain excessive agitation, yelps of pain, etc.. If they had only talked to us even by phone we could have relayed this additional information on his back etc. Again, we did tell the Dr. but I think he was too busy to pay attention and listen.

We spoke tot the Patient Advocate (Hospital employee ) and they of course said their investigation said they followed all guidelines. We asked why they didn’t even come out or call to get background information and we got “Crickets” then is there anything else.

Thanks for any helpful information on what our possible courses of actions are.

Hello, My father was admitted to a local hospital on Saturday night after experiencing a week-long manic episode that escalated to him not sleeping or eating. He was transferred yesterday to an inpatient psychiatric facility in a neighboring city. He does not have his cell phone. My sister, uncle and I have tried calling the hospital to talk to him, but keep being told we have to have a pin (no one in our family has this pin, despite all three of us being given clearance to receive his medical information at the previous hospital). I was told tonight that my dad has to call someone and give them the pin. However, when I asked what happens if he isn’t cognitively healthy enough to call someone, she started repeating “I can’t confirm or deny if he’s here.” I asked if he will be prompted each day to call someone and she again said “I can’t confirm or…” My question for you is what we are supposed to do if he is unable to make the decision to call someone. I was also told there are no visiting hours. So, we have no idea what is happening to him, what state he is in (mentally or physically), how long he will be there, if he’s being treated, etc. Is there anything we can do? Thank you.

I am in the same boat as all who posted. I didn’t ask to get sick, my taxes help support these hospitals etc, but to be scared,lying in a bed knocking at heavens door and to be told sorry sir you are denied any contact with the people who actually love you. You think they could double designate a hospital to COVID patients and give a designated family member the same protection as the medical stafff have. It’s quite obvious this COVID pandemic isn’t as bad as they say it is as I know from personal experience That these icu nurses are allowed to go home with no restrictions and go about mingling with the general public etc. mean while a 1 family number is a risk but not the 1,000’s of medical staff in and out. So why not put patients and staff with COVID in 1 hospital or 2 and have dyeing/ sick people the last few days etc with their loved one designated etc. may god forgive the people who neglect to see that patients are imprisoned from their life as their only crime was getting sick and these medical decision makers play god with no regard to a human need of love from their family

My father is in a care facility after an aneurysm. His wife has banned all FaceTime and visiting from my sister and myself. She allows FT and visiting my other siblings. She also said before Christmas she would take him Off life support. She did not she uses my father to control. The care facility said we can only do FT with a password. However she calls the facility to know who has called. We always had a good and caring relationship with my father. I live in another country and FT was the only way to visit him— also with Covid situation. Is there any transparent Legal Help for helpless situations? Apparently we need to see a judge.

My boyfriend is in the process of getting a divorced unfortunately he is in CCU on a ventilator, and she made a restriction list for visitors and won’t let me see him. Is there a way that I can fight this?

My brother has a wife of 30 years and a girlfriend of 30 years. He’s hospitalized and conscious and very aware of what’s going on. He doesn’t want his wife to stop his girlfriend from visiting him in the event the wife gets angry and tries to keep the girlfriend out. The wife has definitely threatened to tell the hospital about the situation. She even said she going to tell them to ban the girlfriend. We’re from Georgia. Can the wife ban the girlfriend?

hi i need some advice my boyfriend of 4 years is in roseville point and wellness center and i am the only one he has and e had a brain stem bleed so the place where he is at is doing things to him when he dont want it to be done so i speek up for him and they did not like that so they put a no trustpassing order on me and i have not seen my boyfrend for almost 2 months they wont even let me call him i am the only one he has please if anyone can give me some advice on what to do to be able to see my boyfriend again i would really apprate it

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Preventing infections when visiting someone in the hospital

Infections are illnesses that are caused by germs such as bacteria, fungi, parasites, and viruses. Patients in the hospital are already ill. Exposing them to these germs may make it harder for them to recover and go home.

If you are visiting a friend or loved one in the hospital, you need to take steps to prevent spreading germs.

The best way to stop the spread of germs is to:

• Wash your hands often
• Stay home if you are sick
• Use a face mask when directed or when infections may be transmitted through the air
• Keep your vaccines up to date

Hand Washing and Alcohol-based Hand Cleaners

Clean your hands:

• When you enter and leave a patient's room
• After using the bathroom
• After touching a patient
• Before and after using gloves

Remind family, friends, and health care providers to wash their hands when they enter a patient's room.

To wash your hands:

• Wet your hands and wrists, then apply soap.
• Rub your hands together for at least 20 seconds so the soap gets bubbly.
• Remove rings or scrub under them.
• If your fingernails are dirty, use a scrub brush.
• Rinse your hands clean with running water.
• Dry your hands with a clean paper towel.
• Do not touch the sink and faucets after you wash your hands. Use the paper towel to turn off the faucet and open the door.

You may also use alcohol-based hand cleaners (sanitizers) if your hands are not visibly soiled.

• Dispensers can be found in a patient's room and throughout a hospital or other health care facility.
• Apply a dime-sized amount of sanitizer in the palm of one hand.
• Rub your hands together, making sure all surfaces on both sides of your hands and between your fingers are covered.
• Rub until your hands are dry.

Stay Home If You are Sick

Staff and visitors should stay home if they feel sick or have a fever. This helps protect everyone in the hospital.

If you think you were exposed to COVID-19 , chickenpox, the flu, or any other infections, stay home.

Remember, what may seem like just a little cold to you can be a big problem for someone who is sick and in the hospital. If you are not sure if it is safe to visit, call your provider and ask them about your symptoms before you visit the hospital.

Anybody who visits a hospital patient who has an isolation sign outside their door should stop at the nurses' station before entering the patient's room.

Isolation precautions create barriers that help prevent the spread of germs in the hospital. They are needed to protect you and the patient you are visiting. The precautions are also needed to protect other patients in the hospital.

When a patient is in isolation, visitors may:

• Need to wear gloves, a gown, a mask, or some other covering
• Need to avoid touching the patient
• Not be allowed into a patient's room at all

Other Things You Can Do to Prevent Infections

Hospital patients who are very old, very young, or very ill are at the greatest risk for harm from infections such as colds and the flu. To prevent getting the flu and passing it to others, get a flu vaccine each year. To prevent getting COVID-19 and passing it to others, get COVID-19 vaccines according to current recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control. Ask your provider what other vaccines you need.

When you visit a patient in the hospital, keep your hands away from your face. Cough or sneeze into a tissue or into the crease of your elbow, not into the air.

Calfee DP. Prevention and control of health care-associated infections. In: Goldman L, Cooney KA, eds. Goldman-Cecil Medicine . 27th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2024:chap 261.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. Infection control. www.cdc.gov/infectioncontrol/index.html . Updated November 18, 2022. Accessed October 20, 2023.

Review Date 10/13/2023

Updated by: Linda J. Vorvick, MD, Clinical Professor, Department of Family Medicine, UW Medicine, School of Medicine, University of Washington, Seattle, WA. Also reviewed by David C. Dugdale, MD, Medical Director, Brenda Conaway, Editorial Director, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.

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• Jun 8, 2020

15 Rules You Need To Know Before Visiting Someone In Hospital

Visiting a patient in a hospital isn’t as simple as stopping by someone’s home for a coffee and a chat. You are going to see a person who isn’t feeling or looking their best. They’re in a place where no one likes to be. It can be difficult to find the right thing to say to help them feel better, and there can be awkward pauses in conversation.

A ‘good’ visit can really cheer a patient up, and feeling positive will aid their recovery, but when it doesn’t go well it can make your friend or family member feel worse, which is the last thing anyone would want.

So based on our many years of visiting patients in hospital, we’ve compiled 15 top tips for successful hospital visits. Follow these and you can be confident that your visit did not detract from the patient’s care and hopefully in some way aided their recovery. And check out the bonus tip at the end of this blog for the patient or their close family.

Hospital Visit Etiquette

Planning the actual visit to someone in hospital needs a little thought and empathy. And there are a few ‘rules’ that anyone visiting a hospital patient should be sensitive to:

1. Not The Right Time For Questions

People tend to combine wishing a patient well with a short interrogation.

“Oh my gosh - I was so shocked when I heard! How are you doing? What on earth happened? What can I do?”

The intention is well-meaning, but the execution may need a little work! This is not about your need for information, but what the patient’s needs. They can feel vulnerable and they are in an unfamiliar place facing a health crisis and for various reasons they may not want to share details about their diagnosis/prognosis or the treatments and tests they are facing.

So before launching into questions, you need to ascertain their frame of mind. Be guided by their responses and the information they freely offer.

2. Plan When you’re Going to Visit:

First, you should notify the patient or a family member when you plan to come. Make sure it’s a good time for the patient.

3. Know The Rules:

You need to be cognizant of the hospital visiting guidelines. Most hospitals have their visitation times and rules posted near the main entrance, as well as on their website. Before you visit your friend or family member, make sure you check that your planned time is ok with the hospital as well as the patient!

4. When To Stay Away:

At all times, but even more so in this era of Covid-19, don't visit if you are sick . Stay well away if you have a fever, cough, or any other sign of sickness. The last thing that is needed in a place where people's immune systems are weak, are your germs.

5. Hand Sanitizer isn’t Just For Covid-19!

Continuing from item 4 above, it is important to be diligent about washing (or sanitizing) your hands before and after you visit your friend or family member. You don't want to take germs into or out of the hospital.

6. Set limits for your stay:

There is no need to stay for hours and hours (unless you are the spouse, parent, or child of the patient.). Most of the time, 15 or 20 minutes is an adequate amount of time for a meaningful visit. Staying too long may interfere with the patient’s need for rest and they may be too polite to say anything, so you need to be sensitive.

7. Respecting Privacy:

A patient has to give up privacy to the medical staff, but that does not extend to others. Before entering the room, knock and enter only after you are invited.

8. Don’t offer Medical Advice:

Avoid the urge to “diagnose” unless you are a doctor. Uncle Max may have had similar symptoms, but this is not the time or place to share them or to detail his sad demise.

9. Show a Little Sensitivity:

Never tell a person how bad he or she looks. It may be true but it is hardly helpful for them to be reminded of that and try to ignore any tubes or beeping machines. You may understandably be a little shocked by all this but don't show it. Bursting into tears when you see your friend is also probably not going to help them to feel better. And if you are squeamish, consider whether a phone call might be better for all concerned.

Try to keep the noise down. A hospital isn’t a library but it still is not a good place for loud voices, laughter or YouTube videos played from your phone at full volume. And the person you are visiting may be on an open ward or in a semi-private room, so have some consideration for the other patients.

11: Patients Have Ears:

The patient may appear to be asleep or perhaps be non-responsive but that does not necessarily mean they cannot hear you, so don’t say anything in front of them that you would not say if they were awake.

12: Ease up on The Chanel No.5:

It is a really good idea when visiting a hospital not to wear perfume or cologne.

13. Consider Where to Sit:

Don’t sit on the patient’s bed. There is usually a chair near each bed or not far away and if not, simply stand.

14. Try to Leave The Kids at Home:

Unless the purpose of the visit is for the child to see the patient (perhaps a parent) it is best to leave them at home, especially younger children. They can get rowdy, put things in their mouths (not a great idea in a place like a hospital), touch things they should not, etc.

15: Know When to Step Out:

If a Doctor or nurse comes in while you are there, always leave the room unless the patient invites you to stay. Obviously, If the patient is your child or you are the patient’s advocate, you will be allowed to stay when the doctor is present.

Bonus Tip For the Patient, or Immediate Family

Designate one spokesperson for friends and visitors to contact for updates.

This will save nurses having to repeatedly fill in visitors (and deal with the confidentiality issues involved in this) and it can stop the patient being bombarded with texts and WhatsApp messages all asking the same thing.

What other hospital visit tips would you add to our list? Please comment below. You’ll be helping other people to have successful visits!

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Health Reporting in the States

New laws let visitors see loved ones in health care facilities, even in an outbreak.

Stephanie Colombini

Mary Daniel took a dishwasher job at her husband's Florida memory care facility to see him during the initial coronavirus lockdown. She has been fighting for visitation rights ever since. Tiffany Manning for NPR hide caption

Mary Daniel took a dishwasher job at her husband's Florida memory care facility to see him during the initial coronavirus lockdown. She has been fighting for visitation rights ever since.

Jean White's mother has dementia and moved into a memory care facility near Tampa, Fla., just as coronavirus lockdowns began in the spring of 2020. For months, the family wasn't allowed to go inside to visit.

They tried video chats and visits from outside her bedroom window, but White said that just upset her mom, who is 87.

White's mother couldn't grasp why she could hear familiar voices but not be with her loved ones in person.

When the family was allowed in to see her, disruptions continued. White said the facility kept shutting down anytime a resident or staff member had the virus.

This story was produced in partnership with Kaiser Health News .

All the while, her mom's memory was deteriorating.

"You know it's going to happen, but still, when it does. And when you haven't — when you miss time that you thought you had," White said, speaking haltingly and with emotion as she talked about her mother's decline.

Restrictions on visitation have relaxed in recent months, White said, but she questions whether protecting her mom from COVID-19 was worth the lengthy separation.

"What anxiety, loneliness and confusion she must have had – I think I would have rather her seen her family," she said.

On March 11, the Florida Legislature passed a bill that will make it easier for people like White to see their loved ones in health facilities. Gov. Ron DeSantis is expected to sign it in the coming weeks. At least eight states have already passed similar laws, and several others have bills under consideration.

Some laws, like those passed last year in New York and Texas, are specific to long-term care facilities. They allow residents to designate essential caregivers, also known as compassionate caregivers, who are allowed to visit regardless of whether there is a health crisis. Texans also added protections in their constitution.

Other states including Arkansas, North Carolina and Oklahoma passed similar "No Patient Left Alone" acts that also guarantee visitor access to patients in hospitals.

Hospitals and long-term care facilities set pandemic restrictions on visitors to protect patients and staffers from infection. But supporters of these news laws say they want to ease the restrictions because the rules may have harmed patients.

An Associated Press investigation found that for every two residents in long-term care who died from COVID-19, another resident died prematurely of other causes. The report, published in late 2020 , attributed some of those deaths to neglect. Other deaths, listed on death certificates as "failure to thrive," were tied to despair.

Even in regions of the U.S. with low rates of COVID, risk of death for nursing home residents with dementia was 14% higher in 2020, compared to 2019, according to a study published in February in JAMA Neurology .

The researchers pointed to factors besides COVID infection that may have contributed to the increased mortality, such as less access to in-person medical care and community support services, and "the negative effects of social isolation and loneliness."

She took a kitchen job so she could see her husband

When long-term care facilities and hospitals began closing their doors to family visitors, patient advocate Mary Daniel, from Jacksonville, Fla., was worried about what might happen to her husband, Steve, who has Alzheimer's.

"I promised him when he was diagnosed that I would be by his side every step of the way, and for 114 days I was not able to do that," Daniel said.

Shots - Health News

The pandemic pummeled long-term care – it may not recover quickly, experts warn.

To get back inside, Daniel took a dishwashing job at her husband's assisted living facility so she could see him.

Daniel would work in the kitchen two nights a week, then after her shift go to his room. She'd help him change into his pajamas and lay beside him watching TV until he fell asleep.

"That is really why I'm there, to be his wife, to hold his hand, so he feels that love," said Daniel.

Daniel has been fighting for visitor rights at the state and federal levels ever since. She's a leader of Caregivers for Compromise , a coalition with thousands of members. She also served on a state task force that informed Florida's decision to order long-term care facilities to reopen to families in the fall of 2020.

"We understand that COVID kills, but we want to be sure everyone understands isolation kills too," Daniel said.

While the visitation laws open the doors, they also include provisions to protect patients and staff by directing facilities to establish infection-control measures that families must follow to enter. That could mean mask requirements or health screenings. In Florida, protocols for visitors cannot be more stringent than they are for staff, and vaccination status cannot be a factor.

Also in Florida, facilities will be able to ban visitors who don't follow the rules. That's fine with advocates like Daniel.

"I mean we're not here beating down the door saying, 'You can never kick us out and I'm going to be here as long as I want to,'" she said. "We want to protect their health, we want to be sure that everything is safe."

DeSantis, who appointed Daniel to the 2020 task force, was a vocal supporter of expanding visitor access.

"COVID cannot be used as an excuse to deny patients basic rights, and one of the rights of being a patient, I think, is having your loved ones present," DeSantis said at a news conference in February.

Balancing the joy of visits with the risks of infection

In November, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services directed nursing homes to open their doors to visitors even amid COVID-19 outbreaks, so long as they screen visitors to see if they have tested positive or have symptoms of COVID-19.

Hospitals and assisted living facilities are not regulated in the same way as nursing homes. Some health care industry leaders fear the new laws for hospitals and assisted living won't provide operators the flexibility they need to respond to crises.

Veronica Catoe, CEO of the Florida Assisted Living Association, says she represents facilities with varying capabilities to accommodate visitation. Some are large with private rooms and multiple common areas; others are single-family homes that just have a handful of residents.

"These operators are trying to protect not only the loved one that wants a visit, but also the loved one that doesn't want these outsiders coming in. They both have resident rights," Catoe said.

The nursing home staffing crisis right now is like nothing we've seen before

Florida's legislation outlines various scenarios during which visitation must be allowed at all times. Those include if a patient is dying, struggling to transition to their new environment, or experiencing emotional distress, among other factors.

Catoe said those situations aren't always easy to define.

"Is it the facility that makes that decision, is it the family that makes that decision, or is it the resident?" she asked. "And when they're in conflict, who gets the deciding factor?"

Relatives wanted more time with a dying loved one

Mary Mayhew, president of the Florida Hospital Association, said the decision is also difficult for medical centers.

"They are extremely reluctant to place restrictions on [visitor] access, and it has largely been done during this extremely unusual time period when we have had a virus — continue to have a virus — that we are often learning something new about every day," Mayhew said.

She added that people go to hospitals because they're already sick or injured, which makes them vulnerable to infection.

"There is significant risk of any of those patients getting exposed to, in this case COVID, might be brought in by a visitor," Mayhew said.

Families are vital to patient care, she said, and stressed that even during COVID surges and lockdown, hospitals have tried to get relatives in to visit, especially when patients were dying.

Kevin Rzeszut says his family needed more.

"By the time we saw him, I mean, he was gone. There was no consciousness left; he was on so many medications," Rzeszut said. His father died at 75 from a bacterial infection in August of 2021, when Tampa hospitals were overwhelmed with patients sick with the delta variant.

Rzeszut said he couldn't visit his dad for nearly two weeks. When doctors told the family to come say their goodbyes, Rzeszut's 11-year-old son went along.

"I think the worst part for me was that my son got to see him, you know, just hooked up to a bunch of machines and totally out of it, like that was it, you know?" said Rzeszut, his voice breaking with emotion.

He said the staff did the best they could.

"The nurses and doctors, they can look at notes all day long, but they don't know him, they haven't spent 53 years with the man" the way his mother had, Rzeszut said. "She'd be more attuned to minor improvements or degradations. Maybe that's a pipe dream, but it feels real."

Rzeszut said he supports measures to give families more access to their loved ones, so long as enforcing them doesn't add more workload to an "already overburdened" health care system.

What he really wishes, he said, is that more people would take COVID seriously so people didn't need a law to visit their loved ones.

This story comes from NPR's health reporting partnership with WUSF and KHN (Kaiser Health News).

• hospital visits
• dying alone
• covid nursing homes
• social isolation
• assisted living

Visiting someone in hospital

The information in this section is a general guide to visiting someone in hospital.

Details will vary depending on which hospital you're visiting, including if you need to wear a face covering over your nose and mouth.

Check on the hospital's website for more information.

Find the contact details of a hospital

Visiting hours

Most hospitals have times at which you can visit your friend or relative.

Check with the relevant hospital for information about when you can visit, and bear in mind that different wards often have different visiting times.

If you're unable to attend during visiting hours, talk to the member of staff in charge of the ward to arrange an alternative time to visit.

Hospitals encourage relatives and friends to visit patients. But patients can get tired very quickly.

For this reason, the number of visitors each patient is allowed is usually restricted, typically to no more than 2 people at any one time.

It might be necessary to stagger the visitors so they come at different times.

There can be restrictions on children visiting a patient.

Check the arrangements with the ward you're going to before your visit.

Hand hygiene

When visiting someone in hospital, always clean your hands using soap and water or alcohol hand rubs. Do this when you enter or leave a patient's room or other areas of the hospital.

If you're concerned about the hand hygiene of doctors, nurses or anyone else you come into contact with in hospital, you're encouraged to ask them whether they have cleaned their hands.

You must not visit someone in hospital if you have a cough, cold, diarrhoea, vomiting or any other infectious condition.

Presents for patients

Patients like to receive gifts while in hospital. Most hospitals encourage visitors to bring gifts like fruit or books and magazines, but it's important not to clutter the patient's bed area.

You may not be allowed to bring some foods into hospital – check with the ward before you visit.

Many hospitals do not allow flowers on the wards or other clinical areas. Check with the ward staff before bringing or sending someone flowers.

Many hospitals do not allow smoking, including e-cigarettes, in any part of their buildings or grounds.

If smoking is allowed at the hospital you're visiting, only smoke in the designated outdoor areas.

Parking at hospitals is limited and can be expensive. Where possible, use public transport when visiting someone in hospital.

Violence and aggression towards staff

Violence and aggression towards staff, patients or members of the public are not tolerated in any hospital.

Assault is a crime, and hospitals may seek legal penalties for anyone behaving in this way.

What not to do when visiting someone in hospital

• It's best not to sit on the patient's bed, as this can spread germs. Use the chairs provided.
• Do not put your feet on the patient's bed.
• Do not touch the patient's wounds or any medical equipment they're attached to, such as drips or catheters. This can cause infections.
• Do not use the patients' toilets. Use the hospital's public toilets.
• Do not share a patient's toiletries, tissues or hospital equipment with other patients or leave them in communal areas.

Page last reviewed: 14 April 2023 Next review due: 14 April 2026

Visitors Information

Visitors guidelines effective april 1, 2024.

Thank you for allowing El Camino Health to care for you and your loved ones. Safety remains our highest priority. All visitors must be healthy and not have any of the symptoms listed below. Additionally, while no longer required (though some exceptions may apply), we strongly encourage that visitors wear a mask, especially in patient rooms. Hospital masks are available throughout the facility.

Please also note: In accordance with Santa Clara County guidelines, healthcare workers are no longer required to wear a mask unless necessary for safe patient care. However, staff will have the option to wear a mask and we will continue to make masks available.

Thank you for helping us keep you, our patients and our staff safe.

We value you and the trust you have placed in us to keep our patients, families and staff safe. Thank you for your cooperation.

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clock This article was published more than  2 years ago

Hospitals are still limiting visitors due to covid. Here’s what you need to know.

If nurse Joseph Falise could impart one tip to those with a loved one in the hospital nowadays, it would be to call ahead and confirm the visitation policy. Most hospitals still have tighter pandemic-related rules throughout their facilities, not just on covid wards. At University of Miami Hospital and Clinics, where Falise works, for example, only one visitor is permitted per day . When other family members or friends show up, he said, “It’s like a surprise attack when we say, ‘I’m really sorry, but you can’t come in.’”

Nearly two years into the pandemic, keeping up with visitor restrictions is one more stressor for already anxious friends and family of hospital patients. In addition to limiting visitors, some hospitals have shortened visiting hours, restricted visitors to one for a patient’s entire stay, and closed lobbies and other public places. (Some loosen certain restrictions if a patient is in hospice care.) Some hospitals also require all visitors to be vaccinated.

The University of Miami hospital’s policy has changed numerous times throughout the coronavirus pandemic, said Falise, the nurse manager in the cardiovascular and neuroscience ICUs. And “there’s a hospital across the street that's doing it differently than we are.”

There is no standardized visitation policy for hospitals in the United States. Restrictions on visitors are typically determined by the hospital’s administrators and patient family advisory council, said Robyn Begley , senior vice president of the American Hospital Association and CEO of the American Organization for Nursing Leadership. “The safety of the patient, safety for visitors and family members, and safety to the staff are always factors” that influence policies, she said.

“On top of that,” she added, “there’s local government mandates right now. So, there are safeguards that every hospital examines in the determination of what their visitation policy is, and it gets revisited depending on what’s happening regionally.”

What Black and Latina women need to know about dementia

Throughout the pandemic, some experts and patients have pushed for less restrictive visitation policies. A study published in April in the Patient Experience Journal found that quality of care suffers when hospital visits are limited. The researchers hypothesize that a lack of advocates might lead patients to feel less acknowledged in their care, and the lack of third-party observers could lead to less safe care.

“Families of patients serve two roles: emotional and as an advocate,” said Anthony C. Stanowski, a study co-author and president and CEO of the Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Management Education. Visiting family members “are the best source of patient information and patient comfort, and have a vested interest in the well-being of the patient,” he said.

Falise said he has supported open visitation in the past, “because having your family members bedside has been proven to decrease mortality and increased patient satisfaction.” But, he added, “Hospitals are really good-intentioned on this. The reality is, we have to adjust to the times.”

Here are some tips for visitors dealing with covid-era hospitals rules and advice for being the best advocate possible — especially if that responsibility falls entirely on one person.

If it’s a planned admission, have a serious conversation ahead of time. Find out the hospital’s visitation policy by calling or checking its website, Falise said. You can then have a discussion about who will be the primary visitor and set expectations by letting other family members know. This is also a good time to find out “exactly who among the family the patient would want to have information shared with,” said Nancy Foster, AHA’s vice president of quality and patient safety policy, and whether they have an advanced directive that stipulates what type of medical measures they would want.

Expect to wait. All visitors need to be checked in, and it can take some time. If you come at the beginning of visiting hours you might find yourself in a long line outside the hospital.

Prepare in advance for talks with the doctor. Have questions written down, so you’re not caught off guard when a doctor comes in, said Kati Kleber , a nurse educator based in Urbana, Ill. and author of “ Admit One: What You Must Know When Going to the Hospital, But No One Actually Tells You .” Keep a running log of questions as they pop up; you could even store them in a Google doc accessible to family members who are unable to visit. If you want another person to also hear the doctor’s updates, “you can always call and put them on speakerphone,” Kleber said. “However, I recommend giving family members a heads-up to be near their phone and ready to answer if you call,” because provider schedules are unpredictable, and you won’t be able to plan a specific time.

How technology can help seniors beat loneliness and isolation

Some hospitals, such as University of Miami, have teams of nonclinical workers who act as a liaison between patients and their families, passing questions to the doctors and information to loved ones at home.

Ask about proxy access to the patient’s medical records. At Cleveland Clinic, a patient’s loved ones can be granted proxy access “so they can see what’s going on with test results,” said Stephanie Bayer, the hospital’s senior director of patient experience. “It’s the same point of view you would see if you were looking at your own record, and it helps keep people informed.” Ask a nurse to walk you through the options, and note that the patient will need to approve this access.

Get in touch with the hospital social worker. Advocating for a loved one in the hospital will almost definitely be confusing and overwhelming, said Ivelyse Andino , founder and CEO of Radical Health, which helps people with issues such as understanding health care rights. She suggests seeking out a social worker or patient navigator, who are professionals “provided by the hospital to help connect you with resources and support.” These folks can help you make sense of treatment options and prepare an at-home discharge plan, plus ensure you don’t burn out while caring for your loved one.

If you can’t visit, find other ways to show a patient you’re thinking about them. “There’s text, there’s FaceTime, there’s Zooming,” said George F. Blackall , a pediatric psychologist at Penn State Health Children’s Hospital in Hershey, Pa. “Offering to connect in that way is really helpful, particularly with adolescents.” Prioritize silly or lighthearted messages that might spark a patient’s first laugh of the day.

Gifts are almost always welcome, so long as there’s enough space in the room — just check first with whoever is spending time there. One idea: You could present the patient with a digital photo frame; “people just need the email address, and they can send photos that rotate on the display,” Kleber said. That can help brighten a patient’s days and remind them of those they’ll hopefully see soon.

If you’re visiting a senior, it’s especially important to advocate. You’re an essential part of your family member’s care team, said K. Andrew Crighton , an advisory board member at Family First , which offers caregiving benefit plans for employees. Let the doctors know if a patient has a hearing, visual or cognitive impairment, he said, in which case “your role becomes more critical.” (Sometimes visitation exceptions are made in those situations.)

Follow the rules. Whether it’s wearing a mask, practicing social distancing, leaving at a certain time, or not roaming the halls or loitering in the lobby, do what the hospital asks, Bayer said. Flouting the rules is not helpful to anyone. And don’t take out your frustration on the staffers who must implement a policy they did not draw up.

Be kind. Hospitals across the nation are dealing with staffing shortages. “This is a very challenging time for all our clinicians,” Begley said, calling for “a little extra patience.” Speaking of which: Say thank you. There’s no need to send the health-care team a gift, but “taking a minute to say, ‘I see you and appreciate the work you’re doing’” goes a long way, Bayer said. “It helps when people notice that we’re working hard.”

If you’re not able to visit, help out in other ways. During the pandemic, it’s likely that only one or two people are doing most of the visiting. You can help by doing grocery shopping, bringing them meals, offering to drive them to and from the hospital, and taking care of what needs to be done at the ill person’s house. “Things like walking their dogs, cleaning their house, doing laundry and paying for their parking can go a long way,” Kleber said.

Consider setting up a website to keep others informed. There are lots of “really great communication tools,” like CaringBridge , that allow friends and family to document a loved one’s health journey, Bayer said. These sites are typically so easy to use that they don’t add much stress to a patient advocate’s life, she notes — plus, someone other than the primary visitor could be designated to post updates.

Take care of yourself. Spending long days advocating for — and worrying about — your loved one will inevitably take a toll. “One of the things people forget to do is take care of themselves,” Bayer said. “So that means make sure you’re sleeping, make sure you’re eating. We need to keep ourselves resilient.” Many hospitals offer some form of spiritual care, she adds; seek it out if that would be helpful to you. And know that what you’re doing is important. “We recognize that family members are vital components of the patient’s healing,” Bayer said. “The love and support that patients get from their family and their visitors does help them and motivate them and keep them on the track of progress.”

Angela Haupt is a freelance writer and editor. Follow her on Twitter: @angelahaupt .

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The Gift of Presence: Tips for Visiting a Terminally Ill Family Member or Friend

You may think: “I don’t feel like I am doing anything.” … “The person is asleep, or falls asleep, during my visit. Should I wake them? Should I stay?” … “What should I be doing?” … “Am I helping?” or “What should I say to the person?”

Your presence does make a difference. It can be difficult to be with someone who is terminally ill; it isn’t always clear what to do, or say. Intention is everything. The person will sense your tone, pace of the visit and more. If your visit is intended to make the person feel encouraged, cared about, or put a smile on his or her face, the person will sense it.

Below are several helpful suggestions about how to prepare for a visit and ideas to guide you during the visit:

• It’s so important to make sure you are in a place of peace before the visit. If you don’t feel calm, peaceful and centered, take some time to quiet yourself before entering the person’s home or room.
• Always approach the person slowly and quietly so as not to startle them.
• Introduce yourself with a quiet voice. “Hi, it’s your niece, Jane. I would like to sit with you for a while.”
• If you want, hold the person’s hand. Start by telling the person what you are doing. “Mary, I am going to hold your hand now.” Another option is to put the person’s hand on top of yours. That way if the person does not like touch, they can pull away.
• If the person has a book or newspaper by their bed, read it aloud.
• If the person appears to be in and out of sleep, that is okay. They will know they are not alone.

Although it’s natural to be concerned about what you’re going to say, don’t worry so much about the words. The main thing is that your message comes from the heart. It’s also important to remember to stop talking at times and simply listen to the person if he or she is able to communicate.

Here are a couple of tips to help you keep the visit authentic:

• Do say – “It’s good to see you.” Let them know you have been thinking of them.
• At a loss for words – It’s OK to say, “Mary, I don’t know what to say or do, but I’m here and I care about you.”
• Listen – If the person talks about being anxious, listen quietly. Don’t try to change the subject or silence the person. When he or she is finished sharing concerns, encourage him or her by asking, “What do you want to achieve now?” Then you can gently shift the focus of the discussion to that goal rather than the prognosis or condition. For instance, if a person says she wants to live to see her grandbaby be born, ask her how they will celebrate when the baby arrives. Try to keep the conversation positive.
• Chatter is overrated – Be present without saying a word. You don’t have to fill every moment of your visit with conversation. Just make sure you are focused on the person and not thinking about your next appointment or task on the “to-do” list.

About Hospice of the Red River Valley In 1981, Hospice of the Red River Valley was founded on the belief that everyone deserves access to high-quality end-of-life care. We fulfill our nonprofit mission by providing medical, emotional, personal and spiritual care, as well as grief support to our patients, their families and caregivers during a tender time in life. Our staff helps those we serve experience more meaningful moments through exceptional hospice care, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, wherever a patient calls home. The organization serves more than 40,000 square miles in North Dakota and Minnesota , including in and around Bismarck, Detroit Lakes, Devils Lake, Fargo, Fergus Falls, Grand Forks, Lisbon, Thief River Falls, Valley City and many more communities. Hospice of the Red River Valley offers round-the-clock availability via phone, prompt response times and same-day admissions, including evenings, weekends and holidays. Contact us anytime at 800-237-4629 or hrrv.org .

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• Serious & Terminal Illness

25+ Things to Bring or Send Someone in the Hospital

Updated 09/27/2023

Published 01/8/2020

Sarah Kessler

Contributing writer, editor

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Whether you’re recovering from surgery or welcoming a new baby, time spent in the hospital is always challenging. Cramped quarters, sterile decor, and limited visiting hours can make a person feel isolated and yearn for home.

Jump ahead to these sections:

How to choose the best gift for a hospital patient, what to bring someone with a terminal or serious illness, what to bring someone who just had a baby, what to bring someone after a surgery, what to bring someone with a minor illness or injury.

When you’re visiting someone in the hospital, you might want to alleviate as much of that stress as you possibly can. While traditional hospital gifts like flowers and get-well cards can go a long way, a more personalized gift can go even further. 

So what should you bring to someone in the hospital? Consider the thoughtful gift ideas included here when you’re preparing to visit a loved one in the hospital. 

When choosing a gift for a friend or loved one in the hospital, you'll want to give them something that will be helpful, comforting, and thoughtful. But how do you choose the perfect gift they'll love? Here are a few tips to consider.

Consider their capabilities

People enter the hospital for a variety of reasons and situations. Broken limbs, illness, pregnancy, and surgery are just a few, and each requires thought to provide a gift that is applicable to their needs.

Can they get up and walk around? Are they bed-bound? Are they on a restricted diet? Can they hold items like tablets or phones? 

Let their current situation guide your gift buying by asking questions like these to determine what types of gift or care package would be beneficial.

Think of their likes/dislikes

A person's likes and dislikes are a great place to start when deciding on a gift. If someone loves to read but they're not a fan of audiobooks, then an e-reader or physical books would be ideal rather than gifting a subscription to Audible. If supplying food items, consider what foods they don't like or are allergic to and stay away from those. Make a note of their favorite color, type of music, scent, band, hero, genre of literature, etc., and try to purchase a gift that fits into their favorite categories.

Consider customization

Customization is a great way to turn what might be a generic gift into something extra special. Fuzzy blankets are loved by everyone, but a fuzzy blanket with their favorite Bible verse or a special picture will make it even better. A bedside tumbler is thoughtful, but a customized one with their favorite color, superhero, or saying will show that you put a bit of extra thought into getting them something unique.

Take hospital policies into account

All hospitals have policies regarding what patients can and cannot receive. Check with the receptionist before bringing in flowers, balloons, outside food, essential oil diffusers, and other gifts.

Sometimes, a trip to the hospital doesn’t result in a speedy recovery. If you’re visiting someone with a terminal illness or serious diagnosis, picking out a gift is even more difficult. 

Consider these gift ideas if you want to brighten your loved one’s day while they’re in the hospital with a serious illness. 

1. Cozy pajamas

You can only wear a hospital gown for so long. If your loved one has been in the hospital for more than a day or so, they’ll want to get changed into something more comfortable. 

Even if they brought PJs from home, they could always use another pair to switch out.

Get-well-soon flowers are the more common hospital gift because they can brighten up a stark room. But flowers take up a lot of space, and their water vases can harbor harmful bacteria. 

An alternative is a space-saving plant like a small succulent, which doesn’t require much upkeep or watering. 

3. Manicure gift set or certificate

A long hospital stay can result in dry cuticles and less-than-perfect nails. It can also make your loved one feel like their lacking personal care. 

A great remedy for this is the gift of a manicure set, or better yet, a gift certificate for a professional manicure and pedicure. Many manicurists will travel to the hospital to provide their services.

4. Adult coloring book 

Another obstacle in the hospital is feeling one’s time. When your loved one is on their own without visitors, they likely get bored and restless. 

Activities, like an adult coloring book and colored pencils, can help take their mind off things and relax.

Similarly, a journal can help your loved one decompress and spend a few hours in reflection. A journal is a perfect gift for a loved one who enjoys writing or anyone who might need to vent when no one’s around.

6. A warm blanket

Hospital blankets aren’t the most comfortable or luxurious. If you want to make your friend or loved one’s hospital stay a bit homier, a soft and warm blanket is a great gift idea.

Going to the hospital isn’t always a negative experience. For new moms and dads, visiting the hospital can be one of the most memorable times of your life. 

But what should you bring someone who’s just given birth to a new bundle of joy at the hospital? Here are some gift ideas for the new moms and dads in your life. 

7. Soft robe 

Like a warm blanket and comfy PJs, a soft robe is an ideal hospital gift. It’s an especially great idea for new moms who are nursing in the hospital.

Feeding and caring for a new baby is a near-magical experience--at first. But after a while, the experience can become tiring and tedious. 

A good movie or a television series is the perfect gift for the new mom who’s stuck in a hospital room. Many rooms have DVD players built-in, but it’s a good idea to double-check. You could also bring the new mom a laptop with a disc drive or buy or rent a movie from Amazon.

9. Sweet treats

Some high-quality chocolates or home-baked cookies can be enough to brighten your friend or loved one’s day while they’re in the hospital. 

After having a baby, a new mom can use all of the extra energy and nourishment she can get. And if it tastes good, that’s even better.

10. Massage gift certificate

New moms are bound to feel sore all over while they’re recovering in the hospital. Not only has their body just undergone immense physical stress--but she’s also cooped up in a small room with a less-than-comfy bed. 

A gift certificate for a massage is a perfect gift. You can even find massage therapists who will visit the hospital for postpartum clients. 

11. Essential oil diffuser

Hospitals have a distinct, sterile scent. If you want to make a new mom feel more at home and relaxed during her hospital stay, an essential oil diffuser paired with relaxing oils like lavender is a perfect gift. 

A diffuser can also help alleviate the dry air associated with hospitals.

12. Bookrest

If your loved one loves to read, you can help her stay entertained in the hospital with a bookstand or bookrest. 

While nursing, she’ll need both hands to support the new baby in the hospital bed or chairs. A bookrest ensures that she can still get in some reading during that time.

Surgery can be a life-changing experience. Someone who’s just undergone serious surgery and is recovering in the hospital can use all of the support they can get. 

When you’re getting ready to visit someone in the hospital after their surgery or send them a message , it’s a good idea to buy your gift before you get there. (Don’t resort to the hospital gift shop.)

What should you get for a friend or loved one after surgery? Here are some great gift ideas that go well with your get-well wishes . 

13. Socks or slippers

Anything that makes a stay in the hospital more comfortable is a great gift idea. Your loved one might be stuck in bed, or they might be able to roam the halls. 

Either way, some fuzzy socks or slippers will help make them feel more at home.

14. Home-cooked food

If you’ve ever had an extended stay in the hospital, you know that hospital food leaves much to be desired. 

After surgery, your loved one or friend can use all of the energy and food for recovery that they can get. A home-cooked meal will help lift your loved one’s spirits. 

15. Card and board games

When you and others go to visit your family member or friend in the hospital, it helps to have something to do.  An entertaining card or board game can help your loved one feel normal and have fun while they see visitors.

16. Phone charger extension

Not all hospital rooms are set up in a way that works for our modern devices. Often, the only outlet available for a charger is ten feet away. 

You can solve that problem for your loved one by gifting them a long phone charging cord. Make sure to match their device!

Everyone gets bored in the hospital. While TV and movies are great for passing the time, sometimes your loved one might want to settle in with a good book. 

Bring them one of your favorites or a new release that you think they’ll love. 

18. A good pillow

Just like hospital blankets, hospital pillows aren’t always the highest quality. If your loved one is in the hospital recovering from surgery, a good pillow can make them a whole lot more comfortable. 

Consider whether they’re a side-sleeper, a stomach-sleeper, or a back-sleeper when you’re picking one out.

Even when a trip to the hospital is for something more minor, like a slight fracture or a temporary illness, the time spent in a hospital is stressful. 

You can help your loved one beat feelings of in-hospital boredom and discomfort with the gifts below. 

19. Massager

Your loved one might not be in the hospital long enough to need a professional massage. But a scalp-massager or back-massager might be the perfect gift to help them get more comfortable.

20. Sleep mask and earplugs

Hospitals can be noisy, and when you’re trying to take a nap, they can be much too bright. A sleeping mask and some simple earplugs can help your loved one get some much-needed rest,

21. Good instant coffee

As previously mentioned, hospital cafeterias aren’t known for their attention to quality service. The same goes, unfortunately, for hospital coffee. 

If your loved one is in the hospital overnight, you can ease their stay by bringing some good instant coffee that tastes as good as home-brewed.

22. Tasty snacks

Similarly, you can make your friend or family member’s hospital stay more enjoyable by providing some tasty snacks.  They won’t have to ask the nurse for food or wait for mealtimes every time they get peckish.

23. Personal products

Hospital air can be incredibly drying and harsh. And the standard hospital personal care products often provide little relief.  A small gift basket with essentials like hydrating lotions, conditioners, moisturizers, and lip balm can help a lot.

24. Loungewear

If your loved one has only a minor illness or injury, they can probably move around the hospital quite a bit. 

They might not want to walk around in their hospital gown or even in their PJs. You can give them more freedom by gifting some cozy leisurewear that’s more public-appropriate.

25. Puzzles

Finally, consider giving your loved one something to pass the time. A 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle isn’t the best option for a cramped hospital room, but you can bring brain-teasers like crosswords and Sudoku instead.

Choosing the Best Hospital Gift 

Visiting someone you love in the hospital is emotionally taxing. But coming prepared with a thoughtful gift lets you overcome feelings of helplessness. 

If you want to go the extra mile, you can even bring snacks and gifts for the ward’s nurses, too.

Categories:

• Sympathy Gifts

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Home » Healthy Lifestyle » Visiting A Relative Or Friend In Hospital? 5 Basic Ethics To Keep In Mind.

Visiting A Relative Or Friend In Hospital? 5 Basic Ethics To Keep In Mind.

Dr. Huma Anjum

Updated On June 21, 2021 3 min read

Visiting someone in the hospital, whether it is a close relative, friend or a colleague can be a daunting task. You often don’t know how to react, what to say and how to behave, resulting in you making mistakes that might cause discomfort to the patient and disrupt the sterile hospital environment. While it is good to provide moral support to your ailing loved ones, here are a few hospital visiting ethics that should be kept in mind to make sure you do not cross any ethical boundaries:

1- Call Ahead

Most hospitals have strict visiting times and some wards might require you to make appointments, so make sure to call and confirm before scheduling a visit. After confirming with the hospital, call the patient you are planning on visiting or their guardian to know when or if they are willing to receive any visitors.

2- Do Not Go Empty-Handed

It is common courtesy to bring a gift while visiting someone in the hospital, along with the fact that they tend to cheer up otherwise depressed patients. Consider giving books, puzzles, board games or anything else that the patient might enjoy.

3- Maintain hand hygiene

It is vital to ensure hygiene and sanitation when visiting a patient who is hospitalized. Always wash your hands with water and soap or keep alcohol swabs and hand rubs on your person so that you can use them when entering or leaving the patient’s room. This also applies to the staff and doctors attending to the patient. Always make sure to ask them if they have done the same before they enter the patient’s room.

4- Be mindful of Illnesses

It is vital to seek advice from the ward before visiting a patient if you are unwell or are experiencing a fever, cough, cold, diarrhoea and any other condition which may be infectious or contagious.

5- Keep Your Opinions to Yourself

A common mistake that people often make on hospital visits is commenting on the patient’s appearance, the hospital’s physical state and environment and, worse of all, a self-diagnosis of their condition. Financial matters might have forced them to elect that particular hospital, and your words of criticism will only serve to hurt their feelings.

6- Refrain from Telling Horror Stories

Whether the person you are visiting is a terminal patient or recovering from a minor surgery, recalling stories of similar medical conditions of relatives or mutual acquaintances who had tough experiences is unlikely to be helpful, and may negatively affect the patient. Instead of telling horror stories, try cheering up the patient, and offer your moral support.

7- Do Not Overstay Your Welcome

Limit your visit to 15-20 minutes, regardless of your relation to the patient. The administered medications typically contain sedatives that make the patient drowsy. Also, most patients have to wake up every few hours for tests and doctor examinations, leaving them restless and craving sleep. Therefore, it is better to let them rest instead of forcing them to stay awake out of courtesy to you.

8- Remember that people can hear with their eyes closed 

It is possible for patients to be aware of what is happening around them even if they are in a coma or simply resting. Therefore, you should take care to not say anything you wouldn’t say if the patient was awake.

9- Avoid sitting on the bed

Sitting on the bed can lead to some discomfort or harm in the patient’s condition. Unless you are asked by the patient themselves, it is best to not take a seat there. There will usually be a chair in the hospital room for you to sit on but if there isn’t you should either ask for a chair from the staff or remain standing.

10- Have a light conversation

It is important to ensure you do not say anything stressful or intense to the patient during this time of recovery. Mentioning business or politics may do more harm than good to a patient’s health. You should think of some light and harmless conversation starters beforehand such as commenting about the weather or telling a funny story.

11- Respect the medical professionals  

A doctor or nurse may enter the room at any point in time to check on the patient. When this happens, you should honor the patient’s need to be treated and ask permission to leave the room. It is vital to maintain a positive attitude when leaving the room and wait outside during this time. As a courtesy you should also thank the medical professionals at the station when they are done with the patient.

What to avoid doing when visiting someone in hospital

• You should not sit too close to the patient or on his bed as this increases the risk of spreading germs.
• Avoid putting your feet on the patient’s bed.
• Do not touch any of the medical equipment such as drips or any of the patient’s wounds as this can cause infections.

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Mental Health

The dos and don’ts of visiting someone in a psychiatric hospital.

I’m writing while I’m recovering from a manic episode. This means I’m no longer psychotic or severely manic. I’m still in hospital because we’re in the process of changing back to my old medication regime, my sleep cycle needs work and there’s the risk of “manic misadventure.” We’re “fine-tuning” everything so I have a successful and long recovery/remission out in the community.

During my past hospitalizations, I’ve identified some “do’s” and “don’ts” when it comes to visiting (or not visiting) loved ones in hospital, and I’ve put them together in a rough guide. As everyone is different, I would like to point out this is how I like to be treated, and it’s always important to gauge the patient’s individual situation when visiting them.

Don’ts: 

1. Don’t show up unannounced. Like with physical illnesses it can be tiring having visitors. Particularly if you’re depressed and just need time to yourself.

2. Don’t make yourself scarce. Don’t be afraid to message or ring the patient if you can’t get to the hospital. Send cards or flowers to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Psychiatric hospitals can be intimating and visiting someone in a psychiatric hospital can be confronting, but this is not an excuse not to visit (besides psychiatric hospital aren’t scary, they’re just normal hospitals with normal patients). During my first manic episode, two of my good friends hardly visited for two months, which really hurt. The hospital can be lonely and boring, so getting visitors is always the highlight of the day. (I would like to point out that those two friends have been fabulous during this manic episode.)

3.  Don’t pity the patient. I don’t want pity. I want empathy and at times I want sympathy, but I don’t want anyone to pity me. Pity can feed the ruminating spiral of depressive negativity and puts a wet blanket on resilience. Yes, having bipolar can be difficult at times, but it is manageable and I normally live a rich and fulfilling life. So please, no pity parties.

4. Don’t act like the patient is a different person or what they have is contagious. This is very insulting.

5. Don’t blame the person for being in hospital. No one wants to be so unwell they have to be in hospital. It’s no one’s fault, but the guilt of this can still be crushing.

1.  Do visit when you can, but always ask the patient if they’re up for it. Visitors are a source of support and they break up the monotony of the daily hospital routine. I love getting visitors.

2.  Do send flowers and cards. Not only is it a nice gesture and brightens the room, but is normalizes the experience of being in a hospital as a psychiatric patient (in this day and age there should be no difference between how psychiatric and physical patients are treated, but that’s a whole other blog topic).

3.  Do ask if they need anything while in the hospital like magazines, a favorite snack or if a simple job needs to be done around the house. Continue that care when they’re initially out of hospital like you would for someone with a broken leg. It’s hard getting back on your feet and into your regular routine once you’ve been discharged, so a little extra help is often needed. You don’t need to spend all of your time caring for the person, but little thoughtful gestures go a long way.

4.  Do bring fun activities into the hospital. As I said, hospital can be pretty boring. I don’t know how many hours I whittled away playing monopoly or cards with friends, or just coloring on my own. These help to pass the time. Of course, some patients may not be up to playing games, it just depends on the patient’s current situation.

5.  Do validate! Never underestimate the power of validation. If someone is depressed, instead of responding with pity or an upbeat (and often corny) saying, say: “That sounds really tough” or something similar. If someone is psychotic, then their psychosis is as real to them as whatever’s going on in your life. Don’t dismiss it. Listen to them and take what they have to say seriously.

6.  Do treat the person the same as you would when they’re well. Your loved one is still in there and no matter how unwell they are, they will know if you’re treating them differently. When I’m psychotic, although I lose touch with reality, I still retain my intelligence and empathy and I can tell if people are treating me differently. When they do, it makes you feel misunderstood, isolated, paranoid and alone.

7.  Do acknowledge we’re unwell, stay in touch and offer to help out. The biggest detriment to us when we’re unwell is silence — like our mental illness is taboo. Silence adds to stigma and prevents people seeking early treatment, or stops them from seeking it at all. Ask how we’re feeling like how you would ask someone who has pneumonia how they’re feeling. Ask genuine and honest questions with interest. Sometimes questions are all that’s needed for us to open up. Again, just simply talking about mental illness normalizes it. We don’t want our condition to be swept under the rug it when it flares up. We want to talk about it with the people we trust.

And finally…

8.  Do treat mental illness the same as physical illness! After all mental illness is a physical illness – it just occurs in the brain. If you treat the patient with compassion, unwavering love and support, humor (again, gauge the situation) and show genuine, non-judgmental interest in what they’re experiencing, they’ll feel supported and loved. And in the end, that’s what we all want when we’re unwell.

This piece originally appeared on the International Bipolar Foundation’s blog .

The Mighty is asking the following: Create a list-style story of your choice in regards to disability, disease or illness. It can be lighthearted and funny or more serious — whatever inspires you. Be sure to include at least one intro paragraph for your list. If you’d like to participate, please send a blog post to [email protected]. Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. Check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.

Sally Buchanan-Hagen is a registered nurse and works in the emergency department. She also teaches undergraduate nursing students Mental Health Nursing and is a Consumer Academic. Sally was diagnosed with bipolar type I disorder when she was 22 and is now passionate about mental health promotion. She blogs for The International Bipolar Foundation and bphope. She has also written for The Change Blog, Youth Today, upstart, and the print magazine “Better Mental Health Magazine.” Sally volunteers for the Black Dog Institute in the roles of Youth Presenter and Community Presenter.

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Pope visits venice to speak to artists and inmates and finds a city taxing day-trippers like him.

Nicole Winfield And Paolo Santalucia

Associated Press

Copyright 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved

People take a selfie in front of the altar where on Sunday Pope Francis will celebrate a Mass in St. Mark Square, in Venice, Italy, Saturday, April 27, 2024. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

VENICE – Venice has always been a place of contrasts, of breathtaking beauty and devastating fragility, where history, religion, art and nature have collided over the centuries to produce an otherworldly gem of a city. But even for a place that prides itself on its culture of unusual encounters, Pope Francis’ visit Sunday stands out.

Francis is traveling to Venice to check out the Holy See’s pavilion for this year’s Venice Biennale. It’s a first for a pope, and has given the 60th edition of the world’s longest running international art exhibit reason for another round of headlines .

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The Vatican chose to stage its pavilion inside Venice’s women’s prison, and through a deal with the Italian Justice Ministry, invited inmates to work alongside the artists. The result is a multimedia exhibit “With My Eyes,” that is open to the public by reservation only and under strict security conditions .

Francis will tour the exhibit, meet with the inmates and then address Venice’s artistic community at large inside the chapel of the prison, which was once a convent for reformed prostitutes.

The Vatican exhibit has turned the convent-prison into one of the must-see attractions of this year’s Biennale, an unusual art world darling that greets visitors at the entrance with Maurizio Cattelan’s wall mural of two giant filthy feet . The work, titled “Father,” recalls Caravaggio’s dirty feet or the feet that Francis washes each year in a Holy Thursday ritual that he routinely performs on prisoners.

After that encounter, Francis heads by boat across the Giudecca Canal to Venice’s iconic Santa Maria della Salute basilica to meet with young people. Then he is driven by golf cart over a pontoon bridge laid across the Grand Canal for the occasion to Piazza San Marco, where he celebrates Mass in the shadow of the city’s spectacular Byzantine basilica.

Francis’ dizzying morning visit, which will end before lunchtime, represents an increasingly rare outing for the 87-year-old pontiff, who has been hobbled by health and mobility problems that have ruled out any foreign trips so far this year.

But it’s also unusual because it comes as Venice, sinking under rising sea levels and weighed down by the impact of overtourism, is in the opening days of an experiment to try to limit the sort of day trips that Francis is undertaking.

Venetian authorities last week launched a pilot program to charge day-trippers 5 euros ($5.35) apiece on peak travel days. The aim is to encourage them to stay longer or come at off-peak times to cut down on crowds and make the city more livable for its dwindling number of residents.

For Venice’s Catholic patriarch, Archbishop Francesco Moraglia, the new tax program is a worthwhile experiment, a potential necessary evil to try to preserve Venice as a livable city for visitors and residents alike.

“Venice has to be defended as a polis, as a city,” Moraglia said in an interview on the eve of Francis’ visit. “The city risks not being a city anymore; it risks being a cultural offering, an open-air museum.”

Moraglia said Francis’ visit was a welcome boost, especially for the women of the Giudecca prison who are participating in the exhibit as tour guides and as protagonists in some of the artworks.

“These are places of sadness, of suffering, and for these people to have someone of global importance like the pope come to Venice to see them, is a real and concrete encouragement,” he said. “And there’s a message also to the city and to civil society: that those who make a mistake must pay, but they cannot be forgotten.”

In fact, one of the exhibits in the prison is a neon sign on the inner courtyard, by the artistic collective Claire Fontaine, that reads: “Siamo con voi nella notte” (We are with you at night).

Moraglia acknowledged that Venice over the centuries has had a long, complicated, love-hate relationship with the papacy, despite its central importance to Christianity.

The relics of St. Mark — the top aide to St. Peter, the first pope — are held here in the basilica, which is one of the most important in all of Christendom. Several popes have hailed from Venice — in the past century alone three pontiffs were elected after being Venice patriarchs. Venice hosted the last conclave held outside the Vatican: the 1799-1800 vote that elected Pope Paul VII.

But for centuries before that, relations between the independent Venetian Republic and the Papal States were anything but cordial as the two sides dueled over control of the church. Popes in Rome issued interdicts against Venice that essentially excommunicated the entire territory. Venice flexed its muscles back by expelling entire religious orders, including Francis’ own Jesuits.

“It’s a history of contrasts because they were two competitors for so many centuries,” said Giovanni Maria Vian, a church historian and retired editor of the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano whose family hails from Venice. “The papacy wanted to control everything, and Venice jealously guarded its independence.”

Moraglia said that troubled history is long past and that Venice was welcoming Francis with open arms and gratitude, in keeping with its history as a bridge between cultures, even opposing ones.

“The history of Venice, the DNA of Venice — beyond the language of beauty and culture that unifies — there's this historic character that says that Venice has always been a place of encounter," he said.

Winfield reported from Rome. Associated Press writer Colleen Barry contributed.

Copyright 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission.

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Secret Service removes agent from Kamala Harris' detail after 'distressing' behavior

WASHINGTON — A Secret Service special agent was removed from Vice President Kamala Harris' detail after having exhibited "distressing" behavior this week, a spokesperson confirmed Thursday.

The agent, whose identity has not been disclosed, had been involved with the Harris' departure from Joint Base Andrews, Maryland, on Monday morning, when Harris was headed to Wisconsin.

The agent "began displaying behavior their colleagues found distressing," Anthony Guglielmi, chief of communications for the Secret Service, said in a statement Thursday. "The agent was removed from their assignment while medical personnel were summoned."

Harris was not present when the incident took place. She was at the Naval Observatory, the vice president's residence, and Guglielmi said her departure was not affected.

“The U.S. Secret Service takes the safety and health of our employees very seriously,” Guglielmi said. “As this was a medical matter, we will not disclose any further details.”

Additional information about the incident, which was first reported by the Washington Examiner , was not released. The vice president's office did not comment Thursday.

Megan Lebowitz is a politics reporter for NBC News.

Former Virginia hospital medical director acquitted of sexually abusing ex-patients

The former medical director of a virginia hospital that treats vulnerable children and young adults has been acquitted of sexually abusing two teenage patients during physical exams.

NEW KENT, Va. (AP) — The former medical director of a Virginia hospital that treats vulnerable children and young adults was acquitted Friday of sexually abusing two teenage patients during physical exams.

Dr. Daniel Davidow worked for decades as the medical director of the Cumberland Hospital for Children and Adolescents, a facility that treats young patients with complex medical needs, including chronic illnesses, brain injuries and neurobehavioral disorders.

The charges against Davidow were decided by a judge instead of a jury. Judge B. Elliot Bondurant found Davidow not guilty of two counts of a felony indecent liberties charge and two counts of object sexual penetration, also a felony.

Davidow's attorney, Craig Cooley, said the not guilty verdict was “based on the evidence and the lack of credibility of the complainants.”

“He knew that this is what should happen and is very pleased that this is what did happen,” Cooley said.

“Nothing that happens will change the fact that the accusation alone besmirches somebody's character and their reputation, and he understands that he can't change people's response to an accusation, but we think this verdict is a vindication of sorts," Cooley said.

During a 4-day trial , prosecutors said Davidow used physical exams as a "ruse" to sexually abuse two female patients. Davidow and his attorneys vehemently denied any inappropriate conduct.

Cooley described Davidow, 71, as a dedicated physician committed to helping even the most difficult or medically complex children.

Cooley also raised concerns about the former patients’ motivations, noting that they are each seeking many millions of dollars in a pending civil proceeding against Davidow, the hospital and its parent company. In that case, dozens of former patients have accused him of inappropriate touching, allegations he also has denied.

The young women, who were teenagers when they were admitted to Cumberland, both testified, each saying Davidow groped their breasts and genitals during a physical exam as part of the admissions process.

“I teared up. I was in shock,” one woman told the court.

T. Scott Renick, the top prosecutor in New Kent County east of Richmond, where the hospital is located, said in his opening statement that the girls were in extremely vulnerable conditions, living without their parents or other caregivers at the residential facility that specializes in complex cases and sometimes takes patients from other states under court order.

Renick said that as the medical director for the hospital, Davidow “had complete control over them.”

Kevin Biniazan, an attorney who represents the two women in a civil lawsuit, said the women “knew they were fighting an institution, not just a man, and they were not deterred.."

“Our clients displayed true courage,” he said.

The Associated Press is not naming either woman because it generally does not identify those who say they have been sexually assaulted.

Virginia State Police began investigating staff at the hospital in October 2017, a spokeswoman has said.

Davidow is at least the third former Cumberland staffer to be charged with a crime in connection with a patient. A psychotherapist was charged with sexually abusing a patient and died by suicide the same day he was due in court for a plea hearing. A behavioral technician was sentenced to a year in prison after pleading no contest to an allegation that she intentionally burned a disabled child with scalding water.

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Man and woman airlifted to hospital following serious crash in Kerry

A man and a woman have been airlifted to hospital in a serious condition following a collision in Killorglin, Co. Kerry on Friday.

Gardaí and emergency services were called to the scene of the serious collision involving a van and an SUV on the N70 at Tullig, shortly after 3:15 pm.

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The drivers of both vehicles, a woman in her 50s and a man in his 30s, were airlifted to Cork University Hospital, with their injuries described as serious.

The road has since reopened following a technical examination by Garda Forensic Collision investigators.

A statement from a garda spokesperson reads; ‘Gardaí and emergency services attended the scene of a serious collision involving a van and an SUV on the N70 at Tullig Beg, Killorglin, Co. Kerry, shortly after 3:15 pm on Friday, April 26th, 2024.’

‘The drivers of both vehicles, a woman in her 50s and a man in his 30s, were airlifted from the scene to Cork University Hospital. Their injuries are described as serious.’

‘The scene was examined by Garda Forensic Collision investigators, and the road has since fully reopened to traffic.’

‘Gardaí are appealing to anyone who witnessed this incident to contact them. Those with video footage, including dashcam, from the area at the time are asked to make it available to investigating Gardaí.’

Anyone with any information is asked to contact Killarney Garda Station on 064 6671160, the Garda Confidential Line on 1800 666 111, or any Garda station.

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60 Gifts for Someone in the Hospital

Personal care items, puzzles and games, comfort items, helping out.

Gifts can help lift spirits and relieve the boredom of someone in the hospital, but it's important to bring something that is appropriate that neither gets in the way nor interferes with your loved one's recovery . Some of the more common gifts like flowers and food are not allowed in every part of the hospital. This can make it challenging to choose the right gift.

Here are 60 gift ideas for a family member or friend who has been hospitalized.

Wavebreak Media / Getty Images

Instead of arriving with something you've picked up at the hospital gift shop (which others may have already bought), call your friend or their partner and ask if there is anything they need.

Often, people forget to bring certain personal care items with them or assume the hospital will have everything they need. A gift like this may not only be appreciated but also help overcome physical limitations your loved one may have after surgery or medical treatment .

Personal care items that may be appreciated include:

• Dry shampoo
• Skin moisturizer
• Quality toilet paper
• Quality tissues
• Emery boards
• Disposable dental flossers

There is only so much TV a person can watch while in the hospital. Finding the right book can help fill time and even help a person fall asleep.

These include:

• Hardcover or softcover books
• E-book gift vouchers
• Audiobook subscriptions

Ask your loved one what type of book they like and browse a nearby bookstore. Or, purchase a gift certificate to let them to choose the e-book or audiobook titles that interest them most.

Wearing a hospital gown, robe, and slippers can feel uncomfortable and dehumanizing after several days. A great way to brighten a hospital stay—and make your loved one feel more like themselves—is with a gift of comfortable but practical clothes.

Before buying anything, remember that there may be intravenous (IV) drips , surgical drains , or electrocardiogram (ECG) cables that limit what your loved one can wear. At the same time, they need something that is washable and won't be ruined by bleeding or spills.

Clothing items that are great for hospital gifts include:

• Comfortable socks
• Slipper socks
• Non-skid slippers
• A comfy shoulder wrap
• A high-quality robe
• High-quality recovery robe (specialty designed to provide access to IV drips and cables)
• A stylish beanie (to keep their head warm)
• A headband or hairbands

The right puzzles and games can brighten spirits if chosen correctly based on your loved one's age and interests. Unless your loved one enjoys crossword puzzles or Sudoku, bringing them a generic puzzle book may accentuate the tedium rather than relieve it.

To this end, find something new or novel that would spark their interest whether in the hospital or not.

Great puzzles and games for the hospital include:

• Activity books with multiple games and puzzles
• Trivia games
• Color books (including adult coloring books)
• Three-dimensional puzzles
• Personalized puzzles using family photos
• Magnetic travel-size games
• Playing cards for solitaire or card games with others
• Hobby kits, like origami or calligraphy kits

If they have a special interest, like backgammon or chess, the best gift may be to bring a board game and play with them.

Your loved one may or may not be allowed to eat and drink whatever they want while in the hospital. Before bringing their favorite snack it is best to confirm that there are no restrictions.

Don't assume that your loved one will want to indulge in a lavish treat. Choose foods that don't need to be eaten immediately and can either be stored away or brought home after discharge. Ideally, the food should not require refrigeration and shouldn't be crumbly or easily spilled.

Nice food gifts for the hospital include:

• Fresh fruit
• Granola bars
• Dried fruit and nuts
• Nut butter packets
• Single-serve Nutella cups
• Pita chips with hummus
• Favorite candies

A person's appetite often changes during an illness, so you may want to ask in advance what they want before bringing a gift basket.

Many people bring laptops or tablets to the hospital to play games, stream movies, and listen to audiobooks.

If your loved one is a techie, there are certain gifts that may make their hospital stay more pleasant, including:

• Noise-canceling headphones
• Extra-long phone chargers
• Blue light computer glasses (to reduce eye strain)
• Bone-conduction headphones (which may place less stress on the ears)
• A white noise machine (with Bluetooth-connected earbuds)
• A gift voucher for a video game

Sometimes all a person in a hospital wants or needs is to be pampered. This doesn't mean bringing incense or scented candles that can bother other patients or trying to turn a hospital into a spa experience.

There are other small indulgences your loved one might appreciate just as much, including:

• Sleep masks
• Aromatherapy hand cream
• Supportive pillows
• High-quality earplugs
• A fuzzy blanket

Some of the best gifts you can give are things you cannot buy. After all, a hospitalization can cause stress and upset a person's life. By pitching in and offering to pick up the slack, you can relieve some of your loved one's stress and allow them time to heal without distractions.

You can help a hospitalized friend (and their family) by:

• Picking up the mail every day
• Pet-sitting or walking the dog
• Taking the kids to and from school
• Watering the plants
• Helping with housecleaning
• Mowing the lawn
• Grocery shopping
• Preparing meals for the family
• Preparing meals in advance of your loved one's return

Arguably, the greatest gift may be providing quality time to your loved one while they are in the hospital. If they are feeling distressed or anxious, simply sitting with them—not rushing in and out—shows that you care. It can also signal your willingness to listen if they want to share what they are feeling.

By being present, and leaning in to provide comfort and support when needed, you can be part of the healing process for a loved one in the hospital.

A thoughtful gift can help relieve boredom or cheer up someone who is in the hospital. When choosing a gift, it's important to be aware of what your loved one might need or want as well as what is permitted under hospital rules.

Personal care items, books, comfortable clothing, tech, and puzzles and games are some of the many things your loved one might appreciate. Check with the hospital before bringing food, since there may be restrictions on what the person can eat. You can also consider bringing comfort items like soft pillows or simply offering to help out while your loved one is in the hospital.

By Jennifer Whitlock, RN, MSN, FN Jennifer Whitlock, RN, MSN, FNP-C, is a board-certified family nurse practitioner. She has experience in primary care and hospital medicine.

A timeline of King Charles' health struggles, from his cancer diagnosis to his return to public duties

• Buckingham Palace confirmed King Charles III was diagnosed with cancer in January. 
• The announcement came after the British monarch sought treatment for an enlarged prostate. 
• After months of stepping back, the palace announced Charles was returning to public duties in April.

King Charles III's return to public duties is imminent, Buckingham Palace said in a statement shared with Business Insider on Friday.

The announcement comes months after the palace said the British monarch was diagnosed with cancer following a procedure to treat an enlarged prostate.

At the time, the palace said the king would be stepping back from public-facing duties to undergo a "schedule of regular treatments." With Charles out of the spotlight — and his daughter-in-law Kate Middleton also undergoing cancer treatment — other members of the royal inner circle, like Prince William, have faced pressure to step up .

But the palace's latest announcement signifies the king is ready to return to business as usual.

Here's a timeline of Charles' health struggles, from his diagnosis to his return to the public.

Buckingham Palace announced Charles was undergoing a "corrective procedure" on his prostate in January.

On January 17, the palace shared in a statement with Business Insider that Charles would be heading to the hospital to receive treatment for an enlarged prostate.

At the time, the palace described Charles' condition as "benign" and said the procedure he was having was "common with thousands of men each year."

When asked to provide further details about the condition and the procedure, the palace said it would not "for privacy reasons" and that more information about his upcoming engagements would be confirmed "in due course."

The announcement came the same day Kensington Palace announced Kate was in recovery after a "planned abdominal surgery."

Weeks later, Buckingham Palace confirmed Charles had been diagnosed with cancer.

On February 5, less than a month after the king's prostate procedure, the palace made yet another unprecedented announcement: Charles has cancer .

The palace didn't specify the form of cancer Charles was diagnosed with in the statement shared with BI. However, it said the monarch's medical team discovered the cancer while he was undergoing his prostate procedure.

It added that Charles had already begun a "schedule of regular treatments" and was under advice to step back from "public-facing duties," though he would also be continuing "State business and official paperwork as usual."

The statement concluded with the palace saying Charles was "grateful" for his medical team's "swift intervention" and was looking forward to returning to "full public duty as soon as possible."

"His Majesty has chosen to share his diagnosis to prevent speculation and in the hope it may assist public understanding for all those around the world who are affected by cancer," it added.

Charles kept working behind the scenes, praised the public for its well-wishes, and received support from his royal relatives — near and far.

In the months after Charles' diagnosis, the royal kept busy behind the scenes. Shortly after his condition was made public, a representative of Prince Harry told BI that he was scheduled to fly to the UK from California to see his father.

Weeks later, he was pictured meeting with British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and opening get-well-soon cards sent to the palace by members of the public.

In the interim, Charles also received treatment at the same clinic as Kate , whom he remained in the "closest contact with," a palace spokesperson told the BBC .

On March 28, Charles made his first public remarks post-diagnosis. Before Easter Sunday, in a pre-recorded audio clip shared at the Royal Maundy Service, he said it was "a great sadness" that he was unable to attend in person due to his condition and stressed the importance of extending "friendship" in times of need, Royal Central reported .

On Easter Sunday , Charles was spotted alongside Camilla attending a service at St George's Chapel in Windsor. The service was smaller to reduce Charles' contact with others while undergoing treatment.

On Friday, the palace said Charles would return to public-facing duties and is gearing up to host Japanese royals in June.

After a "period of treatment and recuperation" following his cancer diagnosis, the palace said on Friday that Charles is gearing up to return to public-facing duties "shortly."

The statement added that one of the first of several public events he's set to appear at in the next few weeks is a visit to a cancer treatment center with Queen Camilla on April 30.

"In addition, The King and Queen will host Their Majesties The Emperor and Empress of Japan for a State Visit in June," the statement read.

As Charles approaches the one-year mark following his coronation on May 6, 2023, the statement concluded by saying he and Camilla are "deeply grateful for the many kindnesses and good wishes they have received from around the world throughout the joys and challenges of the past year."

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CASTING NEWS

Comings and goings: adam huss back at general hospital.

April 26, 2024 11:15AM

For fans wondering why no one has visited Nikolas Cassadine in prison — well, that’s all about to change as Adam Huss returns to General Hospital next week ( find out his past thoughts on playing Nik here ). Someone will be visiting him while he’s wearing orange, but don’t expect it to be his mother, the mayor of Port Charles. Instead his visitor will be his ex wife — Ava Jerome (Maura West).

Is it too much to hope that Ava will confide in the man she once loved and schemed with what her current scheme is? Viewers have been curious what Ava’s endgame is with her recent manipulations of Sonny. She’s done her best to isolate him and while she could be his savior and let him know that his meds are not full strength (thanks to Valentin), she hasn’t chosen to do so. It seems having Sonny off-balance works for her at the moment.

Discussing her plan with Nikolas would make a lot of sense. It isn’t as if he has any desire to help out Sonny. The mob boss may be his late son Nikolas’s uncle, but the two have rarely seen eye-to-eye or gotten along. In fact, could it be that this plan of Ava’s is actually the brainchild of Nik’s? It wouldn’t be the first time these two have worked together for their common good but if that is the case, why? What is Ava after? Surely a relationship with Sonny wouldn’t be something Nikolas would encourage. Would it be something he’d discourage though?

One thing is certain — Ava is playing with fire and she could end up burned (it wouldn’t be the first time). Nina is onto her and wants to protect Sonny at all costs. Kristina is also on guard with her father’s roommate. Also, Carly doesn’t trust Ava and she’s beginning to voice that more and more. Will Nikolas turn out to be the one person who truly has Ava’s back, even if she did almost kill him not too long ago? Here’s hoping next week will provide some much-needed answers.

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CMS: School bus in Mint Hill involved in vehicle crash, 6 taken to hospital

The mint hill fire department stated that a total of six people were taken by medic to a local hospital..

MINT HILL, N.C. (WBTV) - A school bus in Mint Hill was involved in a vehicle crash, according to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools.

CMS states that a school bus carrying 20 students from Rocky River High School was hit by a vehicle while driving through an intersection.

The Mint Hill Fire Department stated that the vehicle crash occurred in the intersection of Blair Road and Allen Station.

Officials state that out of an abundance of caution the bus driver and two students were taken to a nearby hospital.

Rocky River High School Principal David LeGrand released the following statement.

Good afternoon Rocky River families. This is Principal LeGrand with an important message.

This afternoon, bus 597 was involved in an accident. While driving through an intersection, a vehicle hit the bus on the left side. Twenty students were on board at the time of the accident. The paramedics were called to evaluate two Rocky River High School students and the bus driver, and out of an abundance of caution the bus driver and two students were transported to a nearby hospital. Bus 270 will transport the remaining students home this afternoon.

Thank you for your continued support of Rocky River High School.

The Mint Hill Fire Department stated that a total of six people were taken by Medic to a local hospital. Medic stated that three people suffered minor injuries and the other three suffered serious injuries.

Copyright 2024 WBTV. All rights reserved.

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